Finding your inner emotional intelligence

Tyler Moseberry, Courier Staff

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Emotions are inevitable, really: anger, sorrow, elation and many others. I don’t believe that one should just react when you feel one of these many emotions.

Emotional intelligence is something that is not talked about often because many people do not want to hear about it. The reasoning for ignoring emotional intelligence varies amongst different individuals. Many assume they have already mastered, learned or utilized it, or that emotional intelligence does not exist.

Now, a perfect example of emotional intelligence is how children act compared to adults. You may see where I am going with this and that is great. A child will typically react when something is not done the way they want and when they want it while an adult will figure out how to compromise and obtain an understanding of why they are unable to get what they want. The difference, in short, is emotional intelligence, which simply means “to be aware of and control one’s emotions and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathically.” I believe that my example did a good job of introducing emotional intelligence, but we can go further.

The first place to start would be how to practice emotional intelligence, so it becomes an unconscious behavior. Emotional intelligence is one of those things that will always be consciously activated. The reason I can say this with confidence is because we meet or see all types of different people, especially with social media. So I can say without a shred of doubt that someone is going to do or say something so egregious that you may react. Before you react, think about how lashing out at someone, even if they lashed out at you, can make the situation worse. The saying “two wrongs do not make a right” is imperative when actively using emotional intelligence. So when someone lashes out at you, just listen to what they are saying and unless they are getting disrespectful, let them speak. If the person does get disrespectful, choose whether to interject in that moment or at the end of their thoughts. When you have to interject, try not to give the same energy you are receiving because you will be enabling the person to continue lashing out at you. If a whole conversation of actively using emotional intelligence goes by and the person is still being unreasonable, then you have to let that person know they were being inconsiderate in a benign manner.

The point of emotional intelligence is knowing yourself well enough that you can redirect those emotions when they arise. No one should suppress their feelings, but formulating how you convey your feelings to others can get your point across in a professional and universally understandable manner. The reason for this is most people will shut down or ignore someone that seems to always lash out when something happens or talk at an elevated or passionate level. So, do yourself a favor and utilize emotional intelligence so your ideas and points can get across without misinterpretation.