Cambodian midget hoax teaches important lesson

Zane Ecklund

April 30, 2005 was a dark day for 42 Cambodian midgets who fought a lion in the city of Kampong Chhnang. The fight originated because the president of the Cambodian Midget Fighting League, Yang Sihamoni, responded to the challenge of an irate fan. The fan insinuated that a lion could defeat the league’s entire roster by itself.

To prove the fan wrong, a lion was imported from Africa. The fight was allowed by the Cambodian government under two conditions. The first was it received 50 percent of revenue generated. The second condition was no cameras were to be allowed.

Once the fight started, it was over in 12 minutes. Twenty-eight of the combatants had been killed, and the remaining 14 were missing limbs and/or had broken bones. Sihamoni was stunned by the outcome of the match. He believed his fighters would prevail as they outnumbered the lion 42 to 1.

This article was originally posted on the BBC’s Web site. The BBC is the British Broadcasting Corporation, and is the largest broadcasting corporation in God’s creation. This may come as a surprise, but this article was a hoax.

Unfortunately, the 28 Cambodian midgets were not actually slaughtered by a lion.

One has to ask what drives a person to fight animals. Perhaps individuals find themselves standing next to a giraffe, notice their crotches are at eye level and cannot quell the urge to throw a punch. Maybe they were once spat upon by a camel. Lord knows I would want to de-hump a dromedary if this happened to me. Fighting any manner of beast, however, is both wrong and stupid.

Fighting animals is wrong because it is cruel. When a creature attacks human beings they usually have very good reasons for doing so. For example, Steve Irwin did not die because the stingray he found was a homicidal maniac. The stingray was frightened and all it did was defend itself. Big deals are usually made out of shark attacks, but the truth of the matter is, when sharks bite people it is because they are looking for food. They do not attack people in efforts to solidify their reputations as monsters of the briny deep.

Regardless of whether or not 42 Cambodian midgets actually fought a lion, most people would probably agree fighting animals is stupid. Many animals are very dangerous. Even cute ones such as koala bears have nasty claws that could easily ruin someone’s good looks. If animals were not dangerous, zoos would not need cages and the inhabitants could roam freely.

If someone needs more reasons why fighting an animal is stupid, take note. Human beings are pound-for-pound physically weaker than most species on the planet. Ants are a perfect example of this. In case you don’t know, ants are red and black colonial insects that scurry all over the ground. They may be nearly microscopic in size, but an ant can lift many times more than its body weight. If an ant were human size it could easily lift a car. If a human were the size of an ant, however, with proportional strength it would not be so lucky.

Looking past the presence of God-awful 1950s sci-fi movies, most of us have probably never been in the presence of giant ants. People have seen bullfighting, though. Bulls are very powerful creatures, and to make fights fair for matadors they are run through with lances. Yet people can still be gored. If the playing field were not leveled, anyone fighting a bullfighter would be, well, screwed.”

Now something to be clarified is that there are cases when fighting an animal is acceptable. If you are attacked, by no means should you lay down and die. If you are going to be eaten by a bear or other large predator, make it earn the meal. Hunting could be considered fighting with animals, but it is OK so long as it is only done for sustenance. Shooting a deer just for its antlers is pretty lame, and anyone who does it should be ashamed of themselves.

To sum it all up, avoid fighting animals at all costs. Whether you are a Cambodian midget or an average Joe or Josephine, find something better to do with your time.