Stop the stoner stereotype


Bloodshot eyes. Vapid stare. A constant need to recite why marijuana should be legalized. There are plenty of stereotypical characteristics of consistent users of marijuana (I believe the technical term is “pothead”) that are usually very accurate. A common misconception, however, is that all potheads do poorly in school because weed makes people stupid and/or not care. Of course, there are those who would rather chase the green dragon than go to class, but they give the rest of the responsible abusers of nature’s bounty a bad name.

As anyone can guess by now, I am one of those responsible abusers. I enjoy a periodical respite from reality aided by marijuana. I will not lie; it is awesome.

I also happen to have a GPA of 4.0 after five semesters here at Western Illinois University. That is better than my high school GPA, which I earned while I had not yet begun the mystical journey atop Weed, my mighty steed.

Now, I am not claiming that smokin’ the Buddha every day will make a student better and more attentive in school, because that would be ridiculous. I am saying, though, that it is possible to do well, and even exceptional, in school despite being really irresponsible and chiefing all the time.

The trick is to choose one’s battles. If I have an eight-page research paper for my European art music history class due the next day, I’m not going to be an idiot and blaze up a fat spliff. I’m going to write my eight-page research paper and light me a bowl as a reward for a job well done.

This technique works with any vice, really. Some friends of mine will hit the bottle after their 400-level essay test, some will then proceed to have really raunchy sex that most people would consider illegal and some will simply go play World of Warcraft for six hours. Eh, probably more like 10 hours.

I do have friends that will take in copious amounts of THC with the idea that they can do that eight-page research paper while ripped and then beg the professor the next day for an extension, but they’re entitled to that. Just don’t think that every marijuana-monger is like that, because you know what happens when you assume. You make a really overused pun.