Franchises that need to pull the plug

Hunter Kelley

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“American Pie”

Twelve years ago “American Pie” was released in theaters and became one of the classic movies of the 1990s. The premise was simple enough. A group of high school friends make a pact to lose their virginity on the night of their senior prom. The movie made for some serious laughs and even a Blink 182 cameo. Then came the inevitable sequels, “American Pie 2” and “American Wedding.” Although they were nowhere near as good as the first, they still provided some decent laughs. Before we knew it, the American Pie series quickly became the new National Lampoons with a new movie surfacing every 6 months or so. This franchise died long ago and needs to end. The only thing that may be saving this franchise is the fact that this spring we will see “American Reunion,” the first American Pie movie since 2003’s “American Wedding” to have the original cast. I’m skeptical to say the least.

“The Fast and the Furious”

OK, I’m pretty sure it is a well known fact that Paul Walker cannot act. At the same time, it should be known that Vin Diesel cannot act. Wait a minute, let’s throw the Rock in the mix and see how much worse we can make an already terrible movie! Watching those three on the screen at the same time has proven to be most insufferable. We get it Vin, you live your life a quarter mile at a time, but do us all a favor and quit making movies. No, seriously. To add insult to injury, like all of the aforementioned film franchises in this list, the “Fast and the Furious” franchise doesn’t seem to have a likely end in sight because movie goers keep demonstrating their lack of taste by paying to go see these films. God help us all.

“The Lord of the Rings”

I know most people will disagree with me on this one and say I’m stupid, and I don’t know what I’m talking about. Lord knows my roommate did. Good thing I don’t care what others think. I was so bored by the first Lord of the Rings movie; I cannot believe I made it through number two. Being a comic fan, most people cannot understand why I didn’t like these movies. Maybe, it’s the fact that I loathe Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin and the lot of them. The only thing that saved these movies was the always great Ian McKellan. While I do believe LOTR had artistic integrity, thanks in part to director Peter Jackson, it still doesn’t save the films from boring me

to death.

“Paranormal Activity”

I’ll admit, although maybe it wasn’t the most original (“The Blair Witch Project” rip-off), the first “Paranormal Activity” movie was decent enough. It was creepy and was good at building tension throughout. Then, I heard “Paranormal Activity 2” was being developed. Before you know it, we have 3 “Paranormal Activity” movies with a fourth one being developed as we speak. How long are we going to drag this one out? Well, probably about as long as the Saw franchise, if not longer. As long as Paranormal Activity continues to be a cash cow, we will keep seeing carbon copies of the same movie we saw the

year before.


It’s “Team Edward.” It’s “Team Jacob.” It’s “Team that weird girl Kristen Stewart.” More like, it’s “Team I could not care less.”

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